When Old Grief Returns: Cellular Memory, Seasonal Sadness, and the Wisdom of the Body

As we move into the winter months — November, December January— many people notice a subtle shift within themselves. Life may be going well on the surface, yet a low mood, heaviness, or quiet sadness begins to appear. Often, this can feel confusing or even frustrating:

“Why do I feel like this when everything seems fine?”

For some, the answer lies not in the present moment, but in the body’s memory of the past.

When the Body Remembers Before the Mind

For me, October marks the beginning of my earliest experiences with deep grief. Over 30 years ago now I was just shy of 18 years old, I lost a very close friend in October in a RTA, around the same time my nan was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died just before Christmas. At the time, I was young. I coped, I carried on — as many of us do.

Yet each year, as autumn turns toward winter, I notice a familiar emotional undertone. Only recently did it come fully into my awareness that these feelings may be connected to those early losses.

This is something many people experience, even if they’ve never consciously linked the two. And it is what led me to write this blog.

Is This “Cellular Memory”? Spiritual Belief or Biological Reality?

You may hear this described in different ways:

• Cellular memory (a holistic or spiritual term)

• Body memory

• Anniversary reactions (a recognised psychological phenomenon)

• Nervous system memory

While the language varies, the understanding overlaps.

From a biological and psychological perspective, the body and nervous system store emotional experiences — particularly early grief, shock, or trauma. Sensory cues such as light levels, temperature, time of year, and even smells can activate these stored patterns without us consciously thinking about the original event.

From a spiritual and energetic perspective, intense emotional experiences can leave an imprint in the energy field. When similar conditions return, those layers may gently surface, asking to be acknowledged and integrated.

So rather than being either spiritual or biological, this experience lives at the meeting point of both.

Why It Can Show Up When Life Is Going Well

This is an important point.

When life feels stable and safe, the nervous system often has more capacity to process what it once couldn’t. Old grief doesn’t resurface because something is wrong — it resurfaces because something is right enough to allow it.

This doesn’t mean you are reliving the past. It means your system is saying:

“This mattered. I’m ready to soften around it now.”

Naming the Feeling: A Simple but Powerful Practice

One of the most grounding tools when this arises is to gently name what’s happening:

“This is old grief, not current danger.”

This single sentence can calm the nervous system. It helps separate past memory from present reality, reminding your body that you are safe now.

You are not being pulled backwards — you are meeting something old with new awareness.

Working With the Season Consciously

Rather than being caught off guard each year, you can choose to meet this season with intention:

• Allow more rest and gentleness in autumn and winter

• Reduce pressure to be emotionally “bright” during darker months

• Honour the natural inward energy of the season

• Create small rituals of remembrance, gratitude, or release

Winter is not a failure of summer. It has its own wisdom.

Gently Soothing Old Grief (Without Reopening Wounds)

Healing does not require reliving pain in full intensity. Gentle approaches are often the most effective:

• Heart-based or grounding practices

• Placing a hand on the heart or solar plexus (just above your belly button) when emotions arise

• Speaking kindly to the younger version of yourself

• Breathwork focused on safety rather than release

• Energy healing that supports integration rather than catharsis

The goal is not to dig, but to hold.

Intuition, Memory, or Present Emotion? How to Tell the Difference

When feelings arise, you might ask yourself:

• Is there something happening right now that explains this?

• Or does this feel familiar, cyclical, or seasonally triggered?

• Does the intensity feel disproportionate to the present moment?

If the emotion feels ancient, vague, or not attached to a current event, it may be memory rather than intuition.

Intuition tends to be clear and directional. Old grief tends to be atmospheric and emotional.

Both deserve respect — but they are not the same voice.

A Final Reflection

If you notice sadness, heaviness, or tenderness as Christmas approaches, it doesn’t mean you’re broken, ungrateful, or stuck in the past.

It may simply mean your body remembers a time when love and loss arrived together.

Meeting that memory with compassion, awareness, and gentleness can be profoundly healing — not just for you, but for the parts of you that learned long ago how to carry on.

You are not going backwards. You are integrating.

If this resonates, know that you are not alone — and that healing can be soft, seasonal, and deeply kind.

A Gentle Note for Those in Recent Grief

If you are reading this having lost someone you love within the past year or two, I want to speak to you directly for a moment.

Raw grief is different. It is not subtle or seasonal — it can feel all‑consuming, shocking, and deeply painful, especially as Christmas and the end of the year approach. Please know that this article is not meant to suggest you should be feeling any particular way, or that your grief should already be softening.

My heart goes out to you. I hold deep compassion for anyone walking through fresh loss, and my thoughts are very much with you and your loved ones at this time. I hope you are able to move through the coming weeks with as much support, gentleness, and kindness as possible — and that moments of warmth, comfort, or peace are allowed to exist alongside the pain, even if only briefly.

There is no right way to grieve, no timeline to follow, and no pressure to make Christmas feel anything other than what it is for you right now. “If you’re moving through this season carrying grief, please know you’re held in thought and compassion.”

----------- Helen